Sunday, 31 March 2013

LIFE, EXPERIENCES AND THE UNIVERSE

Travel photos 2013


At Abu Dhabi heritage village. A great visit and an absolutely eye opening experience regarding the life in the middle east from way back. 



Lately, I've been trying hard to unearth myself in this world. I mean, imagine yourself moving out of your parents home or in my situation-- out of your home country at the age of sixteen. Sounds simple right? But no, it was not simple at all. For the last six years I've done and gone quite far from that sixteen year old, all innocent and childish "Oh I wanna be an artist" persona. I've grown so much and faced really hard decisions in life. Decisions which are far from 'Which outfit should I wear today so my friends would like me more?' or 'What should I do this summer?', it was so easy to be young but I was faced with reality quite early in my life. I moved to a different country with different a culture with no parental guidance, no money on my name and absolutely zero friends. It was hard I tell you. Plus, fellow Filipino's seem to not like me because I am weird so it was hard for me to make friends with them. I was pretty much on my own and I have to face every single challenges alone without anyone to rely on to, well except my sister of course but that is different if you know what I mean. I am talking about personal things, What do I want to be? What do I want to do? Do I really want this? Am I really making the right decision? A lot of questions pops up in your head once you start to realize that there's more in reality other than all that pretty cute pony's you used to have in your pink princess room. To be fair, I learned a lot of things. Upon arriving I didn't know what kind of things to expect, I have so little idea on what Europe might be. So little I felt so bad in the beginning for not knowing much. I came in Finland to study and hoping to work if I am good enough afterwards. That was the plan and the plan happened but the experience wasn't all sugar coated. I mean I was sixteen right? Hormones sparking and great looking European boy's on my trails and the mixed personas of who I should be are all confusing. Seriously, at some point all I want to do is get married and have kids. At sixteen. Seriously. Eventually things got better after I discover the world of employment and boy was I hard working! I worked and studies at the same time and I was exhausted like hell all the time but of course the pay was rewarding as ever but I wasn't having fun. I was perhaps about seventeen then and still no friends, just a few acquaintances. It wasn't really easy for me to meet new people and not because I am shy, I was just really so weird. Anyways, while in school I did a series of different jobs at different restaurants in this small town I live in and afterwards I score a sweet (not really) job in Helsinki just shortly after school. I was only twenty when I faced one of the greatest decision in my life, moving out again. Of course, by then I was already used at changing environments and all but still, big move. Hello. I trusted my guts anyways and grabbed that opportunity which I wrote a blog post about earlier. I loved Helsinki and sometimes I wished I didn't move out but the city ate me and that was one of the moments in life whereas I learned more about my self. My two years stint in Helsinki taught me a lot, it taught me not to trust people so much and to be tough. I learned that I have to hold on to some little faith therefore I don't fall down and break into pieces. I learned that there are more opportunities in life to grab other than the ones offered to your face. I learned that even though you have friends to hold on to, in the end yourself will always be the only person you have to trust and depend to. The last six year felt like a decade of experiences and so far I keep on learning and still proving to myself that all I learned are as a matter of fact. I have to be strong, independent and tough at all times to avoid having someone, or myself even, hurt me. Anyways, now that I am a workaholic twenty-two year old young lady who temporarily settled down for a while, have a few friends who I cherish, still weird and somewhat enjoying life still keeps on setting goals for the future and still keeps on living. I won't complain about anything because everything which happened in my life sums up to who I am right now. I am not doing bad for my age though sometimes I feel old and grumpy and loves it when people calls me crazy, who-- I meant myself,  is also on the verge of being an alcoholic anyways, one way or another, loves life and doing my best to live the most of it. Except this last few days I was off from work, jeez man, it feels like I haven't slept for years! I seriously slept like a hibernating chipmunk. I was seriously out of energy. The sleep was like a chocolate sundae on a sweet summer day. It was that good! Nevertheless, I haven't found who I really am in this universe just yet but I am little by little starting to know who I am and when that happens, I would certainly know what kind of human I am to this universe we live in. I, anyways, bid you all a great week ahead and do not forget to live! That is a great gift to give yourself. Not everyone got the opportunity to do that, cherish it. 

Oh and before I call this a post, I am deliberately living a healthy lifestyle.. again. So wish me luck?

E.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

No comments:

Post a Comment