Wednesday, 19 September 2012

WORDS: The Perks of being a Wallflower.

First of, this isn't a book review about the book of the same name written by Stephen Chbosky. This is a written insight towards the world of Charlie, the protagonist and in comparison to mine, at some point which would be laid down as you read along.
You see, I've read the book out of curiosity and when I saw that the character resembles Holden Caulfield, I just had to read it-- and also, due to its recent popularity and movie adaption, the curiosity stood out more clear. I probably haven't mentioned before that the moment I read The Catcher in the Rye, in relation to me mentioning Holden, my world sorta changed, I saw things differently and I thought differently. I prioritized the things which I think is more rational in conclusion to my reality and thought things more thoroughly and rational. Holden's jaded negativity came to me as a punch in the face thinking I've been the same all along and that it should change unless I want myself to be my own tragic protagonist who is locked up in a mental institution sometime in the future, miserable. Although some of his own rational way of concluding things at times come in a logical ending, some are just simply fucked up. Sorry for the french, I have no other way of expressing it. However, Charlie in The Perks of being a Wallflower was something different. Something in this specific character touched my heart, the book spoke to me in a sense like I was reading my own letters. I relate so much in him I started crying, for real. I never understood my feelings before and reading that book made me feel better about myself and that sad moments pass and things go back as how they should be. I know the protagonist is a dude, a sixteen-year old high school freshman, and I am a twenty one-year old young lady in a conquest on finding what I really want in life. I am too young to have a mid-life crisis and I surely hope on not having one. Charlie himself lost, gain and moving on hence the hardships and the troubles of being a confused teenager where you can add on the weight of the world and the search for his place in the new world he just entered. I haven't had the time to be confused when I was a teenager, I was too busy trying to look like I have all the things sorted out and also adoring myself. Pathetic, awkward and absolutely ironic.


Like Charlie I consider myself a wallflower at times, though not as observant, I listen, I see, I learn, I understand and I shut up in the same sense the book described the protagonist not justifying to the real meaning of the word in an aspect. Like Charlie I've had my own set of troubles-- excluding the pot smoking, chain-smoking and acid. I'm not that mental to go that far, I still have my senses for christ sake. But then again, some people think I do drugs. I do not know why but they just think I do, but I don't! It is so weird that protesting my artistic opinions on how I see things often sends an extremely wrong idea to people thinking I am doing mojo, sometimes it is funny but most of the time it is just.. well, annoying. I am clean. Anyways, in the book a lot of other books are mentioned which influenced Charlie's thinking in the long run, I attempt on reading some of them though some are a bit too much for my brain to handle-- shout with me, Shakespear! Yes, that old baldy English playwriter is there. Anyways, some of the books are in my list like To Kill A Mockingbird. I know, I know, I am like a million years too late on reading that book but hey, at least I plan on reading it. I heard only great reviews regarding that book and I just simply could not wait to get a copy. Charlie also loves records, something only people from the old times could truly understand and also those who are truly interested in them because I grew up having spotify in shuffle. So clearly, I have no idea what he meant about mixed tapes and all. A song never touched my heart and music never played a big role in my life and all I could really hear when I listen to one is the tune, the guitars and the mix of instruments wondering which strings the guitarist is pressing, I am weird like that seriously. I don't hear the lyrics, I am telling you the truth. My favorite song at the moment is this song by a belgian musician called Gotye and his song is called "Someone That I used to know" the instrumentals are interesting and I found it soothing but when I googled for the lyrics, man! I thought the dude was an asshole. I still listen to it though, I just don't have to concentrate on the lyrics. However, in the book Charlie listed songs which I listened and boy they surely are something. I liked them in short and I actually listened to the lyrics for once in my life. I can imagine myself in a train perhaps traveling around Europe with friends and those songs are playing as background, it would certainly feel like a movie. I can also remember when my best friend and I used to head bang in her hippie surfer's van in the midst of this Finnish autumn chilly weather on our way to some destination listening to Nirvana. I am still sad that she moved far away, I hope I can find someone I could share a good head bang with a good tune. So that's it, my life is brighter and thanks to Charlie, even though he is not real, I shared a great deal of emotional connection with that character at some sense but not as whole.

E.

NOTE:
The character is troubled and demented by some horrible past, as detailed spread in the book. He could clearly pass on as mental at some point, I am not troubled nor demented so the comparison I am trying to lay down is clearly not on that sense. The character have strong qualities which I adore and those are the similarities I typed in where I did my best to point out. Thanks!

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