This past few months has been pretty rough for me which gave me so little time to even think about updating this piece of space I created to break the line between my reality, my work and my imagination. Here falls everything which matters to me from passion to some kind of fashion. I love writing here in any occasion I feel like to and I know none will judge me too much due to the fact that most bloggers usually just care on what they put rather than what the rest of the world writes on their, but it always depends, someone will always care. I write so I can express my emotions through words with a touch of drama so my life would not sound as boring as it normally is and so that people can get the opposite idea of me having a life. My everyday life have a routine which I can compare to a ferry's wheel, it goes on and on and on and on and what ever you do the only thing which changes are the people who ride in it, a.k.a the customers-- I work in a restaurant business incase people get the wrong idea.
I've been juggling too many things at the moment and sometimes it feels like I just caught a knife and gave me terrible wounds in the middle this circus show, life, for me has been tough and there are days I do not feel like I wouldn't make it by the end of the day without tears. However, things are changing and I believe that if I just continue until the end of the show, we will be back on the road again for another destination. Another place where I can perform standing on top of an elephant like I am on top of the world waving to the people who are so happy, so amused that I can do such thing no ordinary people can do but just us, the freaks-- who are so special in their own way. I've made my way fairly well in my career and in fact I should be happy rather than distressed because as a foreigner in a country where people are still a bit doubtful towards the foreign mentality penetrating in their society, I've made a good contact for myself where I received rather fair deals in regards of my ability hence the fact I am so young in age and in this business. There is something missing in my life and this puzzle has been driving me crazy, it is not that I do not know where that puzzle is.. I do not know what it is. I am lost in the middle of the ocean like Marlin looking for Nemo but the only difference is that I do not have Dory who can read to get a clue where the hell is Nemo. But sure, life is tough but like what I always say, it moves on. I know there are people who have even worse problems than I do and they still go on like there's no weight on their shoulders. My dilemma is so minor, so typical for people my age and I am just hoping that I find the answer pretty soon before it is too late for me to decide what and who I really want to be. It is summer in this part of the world and there is only one thing I would like to do while it last, enjoy.